I bumped into a friend of a friend recently. She’d not long ago left her job – the human-side of it she’d loved, the politics and paperwork not so much. I asked her about now. What was she doing now (as though she needed to be ‘doing’ something).
‘What do you do?’ and ‘What are you doing?’ – the two primary questions that systematically get placed just after ‘How are you?’ and just before ‘Interesting’. We seek to define and label. It’s how we’re wired to socially interact. It’s how some of us are wired to socially interact. It’s the comfort zone of zones, the clutch of cliches.
She responded that she was going to do some study, that she was interested in community programs and working with people. I immediately sought to label – you mean, Psychology – I asked. And this is what makes her dynamic and uncluttered. She ripped the label off. Just like that. She responded that while she liked the idea of studying the mind and behaviour, she found the theories too scientific, arrogant and self-righteous. That actually, they didn’t seek to truly understand. Lacking relevancy. Not people-focused. Not able to connect.
Part of me wanted to say ‘canons are important’ but then the other part of me wondered if that was just inappropriate and insignificant. We spoke about the importance of the learner and their perspective and needs, and the ongoing trend to learner-focused study. And I agreed with everything she said.
Ripping off the label seemed easy, and not at all painful, with her. I admired her gentle strong confidence to challenge. In the end, she didn’t really have a fixed answer to what she was doing – but that didn’t matter. It was the best answer, because it didn’t answer. And after that, she ripped off the label.
I have no doubt that she’ll continue to rip as she moves through her career or careers. That it won’t be painful, just normal, and that with her warm, joyful manner, the rippee won’t even feel it.
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